Week 21

Ooooh man,

i am slowly climbing out the hole i have fallen into slowly, but i think surely. This week i have had a few unique opportunities to recieve guidance and councel, and while i didn't recieve exact answers to prayers or anything, i should be grateful for the things i was taught and the my inspired thoughts that followed. our mission conference ended on Tuesday with a meeting with President Lawrence(a member of the area presidency=member of the seventy) and President Clayton (a member of a presidency of the quorom of the seventy, his first time to ukraine). while previous meetings with these types of general authorities are usually very instructional and motivating i hear, this one was opened up from the beginning for us to ask questions and receive answers from these men of God. we talked from everything from receiving spiritual gifts to the new guidelines for the finances of senior missionaries-apparantly they are setting a max budget that seniors would have to pay as well as letting them be more flexible with how long they serve (this topic was the first one brought up which i just thought was funny, because when the young missionaries weren't ready with their questions, the senior jump right in with theirs. cute.) but what i learned from this meeting is so simple and i have heard it a hundred times, but something i need to change. that Faith is a principle of Action.

My heart this past week has been stripped of all its pride and confidence and as i build up from the ruins of it, i need to realize that the knowledge of this language is not just going to come by just studying or by listening to others speak it and picking out their grammatical mistakes. I have to speak it. the words have to physical come out of my mouth for me to speak russian. i guess its like the principle of the growing your testimony-if you're not sharing it and saying it out loud it will dwindle. that even happens when you are really 'studying the scriptures' and trying to be learned of them. i am studying russian and really digging deep into the grammer. but whats it worth if i don't speak it. but i need my Heavenly Fathers help to speak it. like really. i am so humbled that i cannot do this work alone. a few more breakdowns occured last week, but i have concluded that I really feel alone here but i know that my Heavenly Father is there and He hears my prayers. and how many times have i prayed "please bless Thy spirit to here in ukraine, to be here with us" but now i pray several times a day, "Heavenly Father, I need your spirit HERE WITH ME, IN MY HEART, i need to feel your presence in my soul so i know that i am not alone" because there is no one else to turn to that can give me the peace i can feel throught the holy ghost. and i need to put for action with that faith. i need to open my mouth and speak even if i am uncomfortable, even if it would be easier to just let my companion talk. i need to show my heavenly father taht i am willing to open my mouth and through time, it will get easier.

i also had a personal interview this week with our departing mission president. and i so appreciated his councel. i think since it was kind of parting councel for my life, he was a little more casual and compassionate with what i needed to here. so i am slowly climbing....but if you think about it literally , climbing slowly uphill is really hard. and exhausting, but thats what i am doing as i pray each day for some more strength and comfort.

thank you for all your prayers and thougths, its a hard time, but humbling, and i am learning so much more to rely on my Heavenly Father, which is probably the greatest lesson i could learn and will help me throughout my life. i challenge all of you to develop a stronger relationship with our Heavenly Father. He is there and He can help. in fact, He is the only one who can help. and also share your testimonies! do not let them become weak. My testimony has been what has saved me though this experience, because i knew heavenly father would be there when i prayed for help.

i love you all!

sister kylie little

this is serge and anya. they are a couple that was baptized last november. He is a professional singer and we went to see his group perfom last week----sooo ukrainian. they are one of a kind. the group- a group of about 50 men all singing ukrainian poems to ukrainian folk music and playing ukrainian instruments. so fun! Anya is an amazing concert pianist. they are so elect and will do great things for the church here.

ill try to snap some pictures actually of ukraine, but enjoy these for now :)